Journal Entry #79 - Yolonda Ann Young-Collins, My Unverified American Ex-Wife

JOURNAL ENTRY #79

Name: Manley M Collins

Social Security Number: 5 7 9 – * * – 6 5 4 1

Date of Birth: 06/21

Place of Birth: Washington, District of Columbia

Country of Birth: United States of America

Date: July 1, 2024

TOPIC: Yolonda Ann Young-Collins, My Unverified American Ex-Wife

Yolonda and I met on BlackPlanet, then moved to Yahoo Instant Messenger.  We talked when she was living with family in Maryland on the Eastern Shore area, and I was living in Washington, DC.  I went to her when she was 18 and we went out, but I had to bring her back home.  She was a Black woman.  At that time, I did not know her heritage.  We talked for a while then lost communication or it was on/off communication via texting and phone calling.  Then, we saw each other again at Six Flags Over America in Maryland.  Boy, my Ford Expedition has some stories to tell.  Yes, we were grown folks and did it in the parking lot of Six Flags Over America.  After we finished having sex, we went right into the amusement park and enjoyed ourselves.  I met Julius, her best friend/cousin, and some more of her friends.  This is right before she had son, Nathan.

After Yolonda, I went to Stephanie Law in Richmond, Virginia and we dated while she was still in college, but never made it to sex in her dorm room.  Stephanie and I went out several times bowling, etc.  Unfortunately, the storage drives and Mac mini of my pictures with Yolonda and Stephanie were taken in Chicago, Illinois.  Stephanie and I broke up, I went dating with several other women mentioned in previous posts.

After my mental health breakdown and losing the house in Washington, DC, I started my doctoral program and saw that I wanted to get married so I asked Yolonda.  Yolonda and I started talking again while she mentioned she had a son, Nathan, and they were in North Carolina.  Yolonda stated she was returning to Maryland.  Yolonda was doing North Carolina without a car and had a child.  She did not have the best in life like I did, and I was spoiled by everything and everyone and every job.

However, marriage as everyone states supposed to change lives.  I started comparing notes - she was black, I was black.  I went to South Carolina State University.  She stated she went to University of Maryland-Eastern Shore.  Both schools were apart of the Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference (MEAC).  I said "unverified wife" in the topic because I was naive, I never asked for the paperwork or proof of anything she said.  I got engaged to her February 2010 at Ruby Tuesdays in Maryland Eastern Shore, with one-knee and ring, and all.  We just actually talked.  She stopped came by job at the time at Dunkin Donuts and my Washington, DC family (Grace and Tommy) living Upper Marlboro, Maryland.  We had sex while she was on her period in the living room.  I accepted her and her son, Nathan.  But in hindsight, my mother's words did not process of what was coming.

We gave the engagement one full year before the actual event in March 2011.  Again, dumb me never did a background check, credit check, or any verification of who she was and what she was.  I believed on the trust of meeting her family, friends, and son was enough.  I kept her contained to meet only my Washington, DC family (Tommy Jr., Grace, Grandma Gertrude, Matthew, Grandad Thomas Sr.).  She never met remaining 30 states of my family on maternal or paternal side.  Around February 2011, she arrived to my studio apartment 220 Allison St NW, Washington, DC with trash bags of clothes and her son, no furniture, no luggage, no money, etc., plenty of documents, but no degree or transcripts.  All my stuff was organized and some boxes so no locks on anything and everything was public game.  She went through my stuff and I was okay with it.  We went to New York City to celebrate, such as Jay-Z's 40/40 Club and Coney Island, and stayed at the Marriott.

She left her childcare teaching position in Maryland/Delaware.  I was employed by SiloSmashers and United States Department of Transportation making enough to support everybody under the roof, and pay for the wedding, reception, etc., but no honeymoon.  We were making it and did a civil union at the DC Courts with her family and friends as witnesses, and my First Baptist Church of Washington, DC plus my godmother, Johnella, as witnesses, on March 18, 2011.  She looked like a gorgeous queen in a David's Bridal wedding gown she selected and I paid for.  Her wedding ring came from Shane and Company in Georgia.  My wedding ring came from Tiffany's in New York.  The wedding reception was at 701 Restaurant near the courthouse in Washington, DC.  I tried something different to have her matron of honor, her sister, Alicia say some words.  The food was good, but a waste of money because we used only the fraction of time and food that was bought and no refunds.  She and her son had health, medical, dental, and vision benefits under AETNA, my insurance plan.  No life insurance policies were taken out, but I had my standard employment insurance policy if anything happens on the job.  She did disclose some of sexual health issues.  I disclosed my use of latex protection and dental dams, etc.  However, the latex protection came off when we wanted a child.  I did not think it would happen so fast, but in the art of making love and having fun, she got pregnant according to her ovulation calendar.  She was well aware of all my mental health issues and concerns.  I was not totally aware of all her health issues and concerns.  With the marriage, I felt the feeling of spirits and souls merging because I fully wet our futon while sleeping, and I did not know when she had her moment.

During the process, I guess the three of us making it in a studio apartment was tough.  She suggested mid-lease we upgrade to a two bedroom.  I kept asking her to she needs employment after the baby comes. My intuition was telling me that a major change was coming regarding my employment.  She made all her appointments in which she decided to go to Washington Adventist Hospital in Maryland, when I was asking for her to go to George Washington University Hospital.  I was babysitting, Nathan, whenever she wanted to go out or make her appointments during my telecommuting (work-from-home).  I had a discussion with my biological father, Manley, who was accidentally left out of the engagement and marriage loop.  Manley and I talked about her, and I shared a photo of her.  He said, "I should have never married an ugly woman."  Yolonda was already bummed in telling me how she was the black sheep of the family.  I was not going to do that to her because people did not accept her.  I loved her during the time we were dating, engaged, and married.  She rarely cooked at home because I made enough money to order out or eat in.  During the pregnancy, I made sure she had everything she needed including good sex.  I did tell her after not listening that I did not want anymore children with her.  However, the strong man that I was, she thought throwing her 200+ lbs against me or bearing down on me was going to hurt and same height.  I was 170 lbs bench pressing 245 lbs-315 lbs regularly and all other gym movements.  She was also upset I spent money on a North Face Parka for myself.  In her former relationships, she had violence and sought that from me, but I was not fighting her because I was raised not to hit a woman and seeing what my mother went through her relationships, I said to myself, "Hell No," or look at Yolonda like she is crazy when she punches me.  During our talks, I discovered she was Haitian.

However, my view about hitting women changed when I arrived in Boston, Massachusetts.  I will beat a woman's ass if she throws the first hit.  Women kept and continue to strive to become equal with men on all levels, and expect the law to fall in their favor too, but women can be awful even worse than men.  I have been fighting men all my life.  Again, Yolonda was hell bent on me uprooting my foundation and life for larger and more expensive space when she came with no financial resources.  The good times ended when I lost my job with SiloSmashers ending in December 2011 in a company layoff.  She was close to the 9-months pregnancy term.  I bought the furniture for the baby arrival, and all the initial things.  We, or I, made the decision that we have to eat vegetables, rice, and fish to conserve our remaining funds because unemployment is not going to be enough for anything.  During my job hunt, I had two job offers - US Department of Justice (Washington, DC - 6 months contract) and Infotech (Cyient)-(Pratt and Whitney) in East Hartford, Connecticut (told over the phone it was 12 months of work).  I had to speak to my biological father and therapist, and my father said take the job in Connecticut.  US Department of Justice for the public trust clearance requested that I clear up the $1500 credit card debt before awarding the contract.  I was stressed because I did not have enough money to take the family too Connecticut to look for job and new place.  I discussed it with my wife, but she was stressed and mentioned she was never going to change.  The $1500 creditor found my house number, and called her and scared her.  She told me over the phone while I was in Connecticut.  Yolonda did not know how I handle my financial affairs regarding debt.  If she would have known, no creditor can come after a spouse separately without joint credit.  Yolonda and I did not establish joint credit, yet, nor she was not on the apartment lease, yet.  Around February 2012, I went to Connecticut did the interview got the job and the new place and much larger place, but when I return to Washington, DC, the apartment was cleaned out except my personal stuff.  I tried to contact everyone on what happened and where did everyone go.  The Metropolitan Police Department said, "If she left with the kids and everything, then she is gone and nothing I could not do about it."  Yolonda did leave the Marriage Certificate in plain view so I can see, but took my United States passport and social security card.  I told Tommy and Grace, and they said hire an attorney.

I never physically chased after her, but her family and maybe some of my family were harassing me at Pratt and Whitney in East Hartford, Connecticut.  I was fighting with her over email.  I did hire an attorney, Cooch and Taylor, out of Delaware to setup everything needed.  Cooch and Taylor did their job in setting up the arrangement for visitation rights, etc., with meeting place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  She did exactly what she did with her first child, Nathan, and came after me with child support.  Guess what I did?  She failed on how advanced my intelligence was and calculated child support based on her last known salary from her childcare job, which still gave me 51% to 55% ownership of the child.  On the visitation moments, we hardly spoke two words to each other.  She did the child her way. I did the child my way.  I took nothing from her.  She told the attorney about my car having no child seat.  I made all the court dates for everything.  After she played over the phone with her first child, Nathan, when it was time to speak with my child, she still did not trust me with my own child. I used a two week summer vacation to take the child similar to what my mother did, and introduce the child to all the family (Yolonda) never met.  Yes, the trip with the child started in Chicago and went to Orlando, Florida first class to Walt Disney World Amusement Parks. Again, the photos were stolen and taken during my last trip to Chicago, Illinois.  I only have a few pictures left that I was fortunate to keep, but I will share later.  Yolonda expected me to report her regarding the changes in my life like we were in a relationship.  I did not tell her that child support payments were going to stop coming, but I told her we need to cool the visitation visits for a minute.  We were friends before the relationship, married, and I saw the true her during the divorce.  I disconnected all social media with Yolonda and ended my manleycollins @ yahoo account.  After Connecticut and New York and my job ended with Tata Consultancy Services, a big schizophrenic voice stated go to Chicago (Harvey); in which, I did with my Disney memorabilia and my remaining things on Amtrak and through Washington, DC.  I went and was arguing through email with Yolonda from Chicago, Illinois.  Yolonda filed a temporary restraining order against me for trying to come after her job.  What I did, I sent back all the crazy she did and about my real, biological family she did not meet, and my resume she did not see with all the security positions.  On the divorce papers, it stated she left me because she was not secure enough and I made the family eat vegetables and fish.  I did do several lawsuits on her to show her how much money she took without asking or taking responsibility, and I shouldered 100% financially of all her decisions all the way to the end.  So, divorce certificate was awarded December 2012.  Temporary restraining order was granted December 2015, and I sent it back to all her and my biological, and non-biological family.  I did not speak to my biological and non-biological family until after six (6) years after the divorce, but now we going to see how long before the next call or email happens.  I knew the terms of the restraining order was way done and over, but she emailed me January 13, 2022 to all my available email addresses talking about the child asking about me.  I read it and blocked her or sent it to spam.  I been known that was going to happen with the child.  I was there and then I am not.  If family history serves me right, then the child will contact me on her own around 17 or 18 years of age.  Seventeen or eighteen years of age is when I contacted my biological father, Manley.

After all the losses and therapy working on myself, I told her and the court a lot of stuff that I may come back, but I changed my mind when I saw how adults work and Haitian community especially in Boston, Massachusetts without knowing anything about me.  It is not the child's fault.  I will not be returning to Yolonda's family for anything.  My information has changed four times since the divorce and publicly available.  I have full knowledge that she and the children are still in Maryland and Delaware.  I am monitoring the child through legal technology and business processes without her.  Despite my high sexual drive, I never cheated on her and my sexual energy was invested in Yolonda.  If she wondered if I ever loved her, the answered is "Yes" and was "Yes."  After the divorce, the answer to love is, "No."  I do not hate or dislike Yolonda, but we are two independent people now and not friends.  This is a public THANK YOU, YOLONDA for the experience.  Marriage will happen again, but never this way.

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1. All of Me - John Legend

2. P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) - Michael Jackson

3. Chapel of Love - The Dixie Cups

4. Congratulations - Vesta Williams

5. Let's Get Married - Jagged Edge

6. Fly - Nicki Minaj featuring Rihanna

7. Until the End of Time - Justin Timberlake

8. Ego - Beyonce

9. Promise - Ciara

10. Love - Musiq Soulchild