Journal Entry #59 - Dangerous Sex...Fighting...Angry Touching...Assaults...Scams Galore

 JOURNAL ENTRY #59

Name: Manley M Collins

Social Security Number: 5 7 9 – * * – 6 5 4 1

Date of Birth: 06/21

Place of Birth: Washington, District of Columbia

Country of Birth: United States of America

Date: October 1, 2020

Topic: Dangerous Sex...Fighting...Angry Touching...Physical Assaults...Sexual Assaults Begin...Scams Galore

As I settled in Massachusetts, this is an excerpt from a letter I wrote in 2022:

"The oddest thing about this situation in this state I literally, reality, professionally, personally, biologically, educationally, and fantasy have zero (0) connection to this state or the people"

My life vice out of alcohol, money, sex, drugs, gambling, eat food-to-death, lying, theft, killing, adultery, anything that you can name that is a sin...mine I discovered was sex and eroticism.

Yes, I signed up on all sex and dating lifestyle apps to support my open, active sexual lifestyle.  I do not subject myself to labels or a specific community because I have to fit that lifestyle.  I will never admit to who is sleeping my bed ever.  As mentioned in my previous posts, my sexuality will always be the only kept secret taking it to my grave. I have been in control of my sexual experiences for a long time since puberty as stated in my previous posts.  The latex condom, dental dam, and other physical protectors have been a huge part in my life decisions and kept me 100% safe from Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs).  I have always checked or inspected my partners private areas and body, and my own private areas and body for any possible openings.  I do have the HIV/STD talk with potential partners and simply took their text or verbal word for it.  I was on Truvada, but the people in Massachusetts was h*ll-bent on having raw or bareback sex.  After sex deprivation from South Carolina and pandemic, Massachusetts tried to make up for it.  It was a wide range of ethnicities and races.  Of course, I did not disappoint.  Then pandemic weight started getting to me.

On the dating site and sex apps, I gave a variety of looks with mask on and mask off.  I did not hold back on how I perceived the moment of sex and flirting.  However, Massachusetts had a unique crazy game to make you or me angry.  One young person would send the xxx-rated pics (never meet), an older person comes in trying to be your sugar or generosity to gather your personal information and banking information (never meet), then you are presented with someone your actual age to have sex with - all happening at the same time.  Then life started getting again because I was not adhering to any rules about the pandemic other than getting tested and wearing masks because people needed to held and touched sexually.  Life did not like what I was saying or doing to the people so disappoint of no-shows, wasting time, wasting energy, and traveling to nowhere was a way for the angry people that did not like who I was, ability to travel to their location, and get back at me for the choice they made for their lives.

Starting with homeless community and regular people in general, dapping or pounding hands or elbows was a way to show love in other states.  Other people and I started this process, but with Massachusetts, an angry emotion or feeling came behind it.  So I started employment at Federal Express Logan Airport, with my training class, Claire, Crissia, Camila, and another guy, started chatting, phone calling, and texting each other also hugging.  I attempted to begin social networking similar to what I have done with similar jobs, employment opportunities, groups, and teams.  However, some lessons learned from previous experience is not to do everybody.  I never provided any information of where I was from other than I started the FedEx process at Washington-Dulles Airport and never worked there, and I moved up from New York City.  So the work begins, I start working on the warehouse floor alongside the warehouse belts.  Guess what started?  Everyone or at least plenty of people started swiping my ass, dapping with anger, punching, etc.  Initially, I took it a hazing the new employee into a new enviroment.  After starting working on the floor and trying to get to know people via a face-to-face conversation, the phone communication with Claire, Crissia, and Camila stops.  I personally did not state anything to defend myself at that particular time or run like a kindergartener to my manager telling everytime someone assaulted me.  If I did, then just like today, I would be terminated or fired for telling or correcting the situation.  Winter season has started and I stayed at Southampton along with its (BPHC) own anger issues, rules, procedures, etc., and I only gave limited information for intake.

I start the process with Boston Housing Authority for housing.  Section 8, voucher housing, leased housing, and/or public housing applications were the first time to complete the entire process online, but the response was a 5+ year waiting period for a one or two bedroom.  I applied for a two bedroom, but went through the get know process when the opportunity was coming up I gave up all the information they wanted and did not want.

The Boston Public Library was still closed to the public, but allowed library computer appointments to use the computers.

I attended a University of Phoenix Town Hall Engagement virtual meeting.

I went to my first MassHealth Dental appointment.  The business was Asian.  The x-rays were taken and simple to hardly anything was done for cleaning.  There was no polishing.  I was told I had an infection of another tooth.  In what public insurance provides, there was a big difference from Whitman Walker on Washington, DC Medicaid (full length red carpet) versus Tower Dental on MassHealth Medicaid (1/8th of red carpet). Upcoming story on how all the dental community never really wanted to clean my teeth, but create other work instead.

I started my therapy sessions telling everything from the beginning to the present to the future.

I had my first HIV/STD Appointment at the Massachusetts General Hospital at the Sexual Health Clinic.